I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
