I'm so fucking centered right now
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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