HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My vagina just recognized that song.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
