used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
this will be a night to untag.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
