we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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