you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
