He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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