youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
