would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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