Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
