I don't think brook has ever known best
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize