Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
