Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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