sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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