I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's the barista slut.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
