No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
