u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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