Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
