I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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