allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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