i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
