If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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