How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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