Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize