Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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