Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
