Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize