if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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