soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
