I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
