So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
