Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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