Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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