i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
