It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
