haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm passing your future prison.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
