What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize