There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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