i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
