We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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