Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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