every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
