She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
worst night to have a conscience
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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