hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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