Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
