Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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