It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
