please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
