did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
