you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
