I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize