Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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