Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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