all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize