i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
