Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
