Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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