I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
