Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
