i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
