I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
