holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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