I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
