brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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