I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
