Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
