i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
