So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
