the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
